Taking Care of Mom and Dad

Finding peace of mind in elder care, and the power to know when to act

Hello, Sandwich Generation!

I am here, seated firmly in the Sandwich Generation with you. If you’re in or near middle-aged, you may find yourself caring for your own not-yet-adult children, as well as one or multiple aging parents. You may be in the prime of your career and money-earning potential, or you may be finding it difficult to work even part-time due to all the caregiver needs that have fallen onto you. Don’t get me wrong, I find this to be a rich and fulfilling time of my life. But I would be lying if I said it was all joy. 

Those in the Sandwich Generation are some of the most stressed out individuals out there. There are immense stresses on your time, your money, your emotional bandwidth. As parents, we may have mastered the art of logistics and organization, but there is no solution for the excessive weight of your caregiving duties. With outstanding support, we “sandwichers” may walk this path with grace and flexibility. But even with the best support, we often feel a loss of independence, fear for the future, guilt for not doing enough, anger at our situation, or even resentment towards the people we love most. Often, we feel a bit socially isolated, because, who could have any time to hang out with friends when they’re constantly caring for their loved ones?

We sandwichers also may find that our finances are stretched in ways they’ve never been before. We may be doling out heaps of money for childcare, eldercare, medical bills, durable medical equipment and college tuition all at once. We may need or desire to hire someone to provide in-home care for our aging parents, or we may want our aging parent to live and receive care in a nursing home or assisted living facility. The scale and scope of eldercare is massive, with 100 million adults in the United States who identify as being caregivers!

If you’re in your 40’s like me, more than half of you will find yourself in this sandwich. As our parents thankfully live longer, and our young adult children spend more time living at home rather than following the traditional right-out-of-highschool path to college, more and more of us will find ourselves in the Sandwich Generation for decades. 

Like I mentioned before, this isn’t necessarily a bad phase of life. Many sandwichers feel fulfilled; yet, this does not negate the stress upon them. The majority of caregivers of elders often have a decline in both their mental and physical health, experiencing depression and being diagnosed with chronic health conditions. Why? Because caregiving can be emotionally and physically demanding. Indeed, about 90% of adults in the United States who have parents over 60 years of age worry about their parent an average of 5 times per week. And vice versa, about half of aging parents worry that they are burdening their adult children. While many of us decide that the best place for a parent or elderly loved-one to reside and get care is a senior living facility or a nursing home, this arrangement does not take away the worry and angst over the health and safety of our elders. And this is for good reason, as about a third of those living in assisted living communities experience depression. 

The Landscape of Elder Care

Here are the facts pertaining to residential elder care (outside of the home) in the United States. There are more than 30,000 assisted living communities in the United States, with 1.2 million licensed beds available to elders. While assisted living communities may be a necessity for many elders and their caregivers, residing in these communities come with some sobering statistics. Compared to their peers who are not living in these facilities, seniors who live in assisted living communities are 2 times more likely to be hospitalized every year, are 2.5 times more likely to have a significant fall, and are 2.5 times more likely to pass away. The reasons for these differences are complex. As our bodies and minds age, our chronic medical issues add up, and overall medical complexity increases. For those living in assisted living communities, nearly all have at least 1 chronic health issue, and the average per resident is TWELVE chronic health conditions! The hard reality is that it is difficult to provide personalized and time-sensitive care to all the elders living in these communities, and unfortunately that means that these elders’ health declines in these facilities. 

How Can We Ease the Strain of Eldercare?

This stress of caretaking seems to have no solution. But the answer may be in something we all crave as humans: connection. Among us sandwiches, 70% report that we would worry less if we were able to check in with their aging parents more. How can we do this when we’re spread so thin? 

Syne has an innovative way that we can stay connected to and up-to-speed with our beloved elders, even if they’re not in the same home as us. Syne provides continuous, real time biometric data remotely to caregivers, and lets you know when your elder is in trouble, or that all is safe and sound. Syne’s patented analytics gets to know your elder’s “normal biometric values” and lets you know immediately if there are concerning trends in the elder’s health, or if they could have fallen. Even better, Syne is completely hands-free, is comfortable to wear, and has a very long battery life, making it’s use hassle-free for both you and the one you’re caring for. With Syne on your side, we can help reduce stress, increase your connectedness to your loved one, and provide early notifications to changes in their health. Instead of constantly worrying, you can know exactly when to check in your loved one. Syne also signals to your loved one that you care and that you are monitoring their health. Syne can also empower seniors to understand their health better and strengthen their sense of control, which is so important as their minds and bodies age.